she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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