9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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