i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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