It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
