either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i think my cat just said my name.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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