I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
