I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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