yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
