Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
