I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
