why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
