Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
whose ass print is on the piano?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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