Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
