Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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