it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
