The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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