No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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