woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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