You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
