Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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