K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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