My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
