the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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