man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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