Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
