Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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