hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
