Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
