Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
