So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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