yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
