I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
jump out the window naked night went bad
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
