So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
