is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize