if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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