I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
