dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize