totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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