I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
