Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
