when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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