I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
