I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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