So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're like the curious george of whores
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
