he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
