Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
