I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
