Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize