y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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