he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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