She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
