Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
