I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
