so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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