I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
