I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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