There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
